People often wonder why call centre workers are paid so much [that too, for just being on the phone !!]
Here’s why 😀

 

Tech Support Officer (TSO) : “I need you to right-click on the Desktop”
Customer : “Ok”
TSO : Did you get a pop-up menu ?
Cust: No
TSO : Okay, Right Click again. Do u see a pop-up menu.
Cust: No
TSO : Okay sir, can you tell me what have you done until now ?
Cust: Sure, you told me to Write CLICK and I wrote CLICK

 

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::  TSO : In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the OK button ?
Cust: Wow !! How can you see my computer ?

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:: TSO : What type of computer do you have ?
Cust : A white one !!

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:: Cust : I received the software update you sent,but I am still getting the same error message.
TSO : Did you install the update?
Cust: No. Oh, am I supposed to install it ?
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:: Cust: Do I need a computer to use your software?
TSO : #$*%#
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::  Cust: I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word
TSO : Tell me what you’ve done.
Cust: I typed ‘A:SETUP’.
TSO : Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.
Cust: It says ‘Microsoft Restore and Recovery disk’
TSO : Insert the MS Word setup disk
Cust: What ?!!
TSO : Did you buy MS word?
Cust: No

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:: TSO : What’s on your screen right now ?
Cust: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.

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:: Cust : My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.

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:: Cust : I have Microsoft Exploder
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:: Cust: You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.
TSO : What does it say?
Cust: Something about an error and non-system disk
TSO : Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?
Cust: No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.

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And, finally comes the hilarious of all 😀

:: A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that this computer is faulty.
TSO : What’s the problem ?
Cust: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
TSO: You’ll need a new power supply.
Cust: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
TSO : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
Cust: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the Customer is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

TSO : Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our Customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Cust: {Happily} I knew it !
TSO : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later …

Cust: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
TSO : Well, what version of DOS are you using ?
Cust: MS-DOS 6.22
TSO : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later …

Cust: I need a new power supply.
TSO : How did you come to that conclusion ?
Cust: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
TSO : Then what did he say ?
Cust: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE. 😀

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