Archive for October 20, 2011


An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors; Green,Red, Orange, Blue, and Yellow. The old man just stared and stared. Everytime the young man looked, the old man was staring.

The young man finally said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?”

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, “Got drunk once and had made love with a peacock. I was wondering if you were my son.”

People often wonder why call centre workers are paid so much [that too, for just being on the phone !!]
Here’s why 😀

 

Tech Support Officer (TSO) : “I need you to right-click on the Desktop”
Customer : “Ok”
TSO : Did you get a pop-up menu ?
Cust: No
TSO : Okay, Right Click again. Do u see a pop-up menu.
Cust: No
TSO : Okay sir, can you tell me what have you done until now ?
Cust: Sure, you told me to Write CLICK and I wrote CLICK

 

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::  TSO : In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the OK button ?
Cust: Wow !! How can you see my computer ?

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:: TSO : What type of computer do you have ?
Cust : A white one !!

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:: Cust : I received the software update you sent,but I am still getting the same error message.
TSO : Did you install the update?
Cust: No. Oh, am I supposed to install it ?
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:: Cust: Do I need a computer to use your software?
TSO : #$*%#
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::  Cust: I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word
TSO : Tell me what you’ve done.
Cust: I typed ‘A:SETUP’.
TSO : Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.
Cust: It says ‘Microsoft Restore and Recovery disk’
TSO : Insert the MS Word setup disk
Cust: What ?!!
TSO : Did you buy MS word?
Cust: No

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:: TSO : What’s on your screen right now ?
Cust: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.

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:: Cust : My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.

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:: Cust : I have Microsoft Exploder
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:: Cust: You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.
TSO : What does it say?
Cust: Something about an error and non-system disk
TSO : Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?
Cust: No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.

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And, finally comes the hilarious of all 😀

:: A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that this computer is faulty.
TSO : What’s the problem ?
Cust: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
TSO: You’ll need a new power supply.
Cust: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
TSO : Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
Cust: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the Customer is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

TSO : Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our Customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
Cust: {Happily} I knew it !
TSO : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.

10 minutes later …

Cust: It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
TSO : Well, what version of DOS are you using ?
Cust: MS-DOS 6.22
TSO : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later …

Cust: I need a new power supply.
TSO : How did you come to that conclusion ?
Cust: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
TSO : Then what did he say ?
Cust: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE. 😀